Day Seventy Six

I am surrounded by loud, laughing Germans.

Friday April 16th, 2010. Uncategorized. 1 comment.

Day Seventy Three

My desk today is on yet another Greyhound bus heading towards Sydney. Last night, Newcastle YHA was all about smells. The corridors smelt of the kitchen, the kitchen smelt of bad mince (again! Why always bad mince?), the carpets were fusty and foot high, the toilets smelt revolting and my room smelt of stale perfume/cheap deodorant. Which is a shame as the building was pretty gorgeous. Went for a run this morning and turned right at the end of the road. Apparently if I’d turned left it would have been horizontal rather than the vertical I was faced with. This is possibly my last greyhound experience on this trip.


Tuesday April 13th, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Day Seventy One

For some reason my dorm room smells like a stable even though there is a distinct lack of tack, hay and sweaty horses and I’m pretty sure that none of us in here have immaculately conceived either.

Spent a mad day hurtling all over the north NSW countryside that looks so English (apart from the random palm trees). Paddled in a tea tree lake that was a browny coca cola colour except for the electric green algae. Went to a Tender Centre and wanted to bid on an iron, an old ESSO oil can, an organ and a big wooden lounger, none of which would fit in my back pack. We’re waiting to hear about the four storey bird cage though. Bought lots of plums and admired the lonely railroad tracks and grimaced at a grim lounge singer’s rendition of Candle in the Wind that cut through the peace of Eltham like only bad Elton can. Off to what I hope will turn out to be a very large plate of dirty noodles now.

News just in: we won the birdcage, the saddles, the bottles and the watering can but not the phone. We are now slightly hysterical.

Monday April 12th, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Day Seventy Two

I have progressed to Georgette Heyer who uses words like “flummery”, “ells”, “mashams” and “thatchgallows”. Thank god for my dictionary.

Monday April 12th, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Day Seventy

The problem with having vertigo when you’re lying in your hostel bed is that there is the possibility of scaring the other occupants (of the room, not the bed) when all of a sudden you violently stick out your leg, still sheet tangled, and try and plant your foot on the floor to try to fool your brain into recognising a physical horizon to stop the slopping that’s going on. Luckily I’ve been on the bottom bunk but I did nearly kick the girl in the next one. So two out of three Brisbane days have been a wipe out with severe dizziness, breathlessness and being weak as a new born kitten. Luckily on the first day I ran along the South Bank, did a three hour city walking tour, bought two new bras, a battery charger for my digital camera (it gave up just before Uluru) and went to see Kick Ass. On the bus to Byron now.

Have just seen a bi-plane loop the loop and body roll through the clouds above the skyscrapers of Surfers Paradise.

Saturday April 10th, 2010. Uncategorized. 2 comments.

Day Sixty Five

On this trip I broke one bra, saw two shooting stars, spent three days in the outback, had four slices of tiny pretend bread for lunch today (two sandwiches) and I can’t think of anything to go with five…

Monday April 5th, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Day Sixty Three

Another day, another trip, this one a three dayer to Uluru, Kata Tjuta and Kings Canyon. So far there is a french girl intent on killing anything non human in the bus with a vicious swipe of her tour brochure and a bona fide tour whore who latched onto our guide before we’d left the city limits. And me? I am sat in partial misery as to cap off my Alice Experience my bunk had bed bugs and I am COVERED in large ferociously itchy bites, for example: six on my left cheek, one on my bottom lip, nine on my right hand swelling two joints and two on my arse. The rest are uncountable due to being in awkward places.

A dingo just licked me.

Omigod, it’s like I’ve stumbled onto the set of Dune/Tremors.

Monday April 5th, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Day Sixy Two

It’s not the used condoms that sit in the storm drains and under the fences or smell of sweat that permiates everywhere. It’s not the grossly obscene grafitti on the bus shelters, the pavements and the tree bark or the lack of eye contact from everyone you pass. It’s the stench of unwashed crotches that smacks you in the face when the warm wind changes direction that makes Alice Springs so unpleasant. That and it’s closed for Easter.

Friday April 2nd, 2010. Uncategorized. 1 comment.

Day Sixty One

Selected muzac jukebox highlights I have been subjected to on my 24hr train trip from Darwin to Alice:

In the Living Years
Ebony and Ivory (woke up to that horror)
Cruel Summer (cruel and unusual cover version)
Breathe Again
Wind Beneath My Wings
Many boy band ballads with prepubescent voices and tambourines

Thursday April 1st, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Day Sixty

And so it has finally come to pass that we now think that 32*C is not hot. That we contemplated taking a jacket out with us seemed natural. That 70% humidity seemed paltry. I am ruined.

Thursday April 1st, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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