Derby

Today my desk is the Derby Travelodge. My room is a slightly nauseating mix of orange, fleshy salmon and a cream that has gone black in places above the wall heater. The sheets are perfect white unlike the toilet pan. The rest is large and spartan and smells of old knickers. It’s also not on any map nor satnav and there was nowhere open for tea on our arrival at midnight so I had cheese and onion crisps and J had a packet of maltesers from the vending machine at reception. But luckily my room is next to the car park so I’m able to hear when every inmate leaves.

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