Day Sixty Five

On this trip I broke one bra, saw two shooting stars, spent three days in the outback, had four slices of tiny pretend bread for lunch today (two sandwiches) and I can’t think of anything to go with five…

Monday April 5th, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Day Sixty Three

Another day, another trip, this one a three dayer to Uluru, Kata Tjuta and Kings Canyon. So far there is a french girl intent on killing anything non human in the bus with a vicious swipe of her tour brochure and a bona fide tour whore who latched onto our guide before we’d left the city limits. And me? I am sat in partial misery as to cap off my Alice Experience my bunk had bed bugs and I am COVERED in large ferociously itchy bites, for example: six on my left cheek, one on my bottom lip, nine on my right hand swelling two joints and two on my arse. The rest are uncountable due to being in awkward places.

A dingo just licked me.

Omigod, it’s like I’ve stumbled onto the set of Dune/Tremors.


Monday April 5th, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Day Sixy Two

It’s not the used condoms that sit in the storm drains and under the fences or smell of sweat that permiates everywhere. It’s not the grossly obscene grafitti on the bus shelters, the pavements and the tree bark or the lack of eye contact from everyone you pass. It’s the stench of unwashed crotches that smacks you in the face when the warm wind changes direction that makes Alice Springs so unpleasant. That and it’s closed for Easter.

Friday April 2nd, 2010. Uncategorized. 1 comment.

Day Sixty One

Selected muzac jukebox highlights I have been subjected to on my 24hr train trip from Darwin to Alice:

In the Living Years
Ebony and Ivory (woke up to that horror)
Cruel Summer (cruel and unusual cover version)
Breathe Again
Wind Beneath My Wings
Many boy band ballads with prepubescent voices and tambourines

Thursday April 1st, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Day Sixty

And so it has finally come to pass that we now think that 32*C is not hot. That we contemplated taking a jacket out with us seemed natural. That 70% humidity seemed paltry. I am ruined.

Thursday April 1st, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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