Day Ninety

Today My Desk has been brought to you by:

Heathrow Airport, UK (weak bladder)
Fitzroy, Melbourne, VIC (Lucy and Ade and Ron Mueck)
Launceston, Tasmania (inconsiderate Swedes)
Cradle Mountain, Tas (wedding crashing)
Ross, Tas (second oldest bridge and porn for the elderly)
Hobart, Tas (Bad Manners, bad aftershave and the Highway to Hell) Mt Field/Mt Wellington, Tas (enormous trees, kangeroo testicles and pademelons) Wineglass Bay, Tas (coronary)
Port Arthur, Tas (film school lesson)
St Helens/Binalong, Tas (too much information and saddle sore) Launceston, Tas (deodorant as air freshener)
Strahan, Tas (too many chips and Stephen King)
Queenstown, Tas (lovely librarian)
Stanley, Tas (resisting The Nut)
Penguin, Tas (because why wouldn’t you)
Launceston, Tas (classical music in the public toilet)
Perth, WA (manky humid hostel)
Kalbarri, WA (vertigo and Swiss)
Denham, WA (no. 4, no. 5, squidding, redbacks, cocks and Pippin) Monkey Mia, WA (sandalwood and a good night’s sleep)
Francois Peron National Park, WA (42*, reef sharks, rays and a leach) Coral Bay, WA (strip jenga and overpriced fish)
Exmouth, WA (The Potshot, bad choice pedicure)
Cape Range National Park, WA (awkward Danish moment)
Karijini National Park, WA (a black and blue arse but luckily not mine) Port Hedland, WA (amazing salt mines)
Paradoo Cattle Station, WA (swags and bogans and grasshopper retinues) Broome, WA (pearls, empty coke cans, camels and sweat)
Darwin, NT (crocodiles, car parks and novelty t shirts)
Litchfield National Park, NT (severe lack of jumping crocodiles) Kakadu National Park, NT (throwing a strop)
The Ghan (unlockable toilet door)
Katherine, NT (I told you so, Rogue)
Alice Springs, NT (bed bugs and Magnum PI rolling in a Stetson) Uluru/Kata Tjuta, NT (dingo ate my biby)
Kings Canyon, NT (Priscilla’s Gap, pigmy koalas, thorny devils and campfire swags) Brisbane, QL (vertigo and mangroves)
Byron Bay, NSW (insane)
Newcastle, NSW (stinky and yet beautiful)
Oakville, NSW (Murray, Eliza, Lilly, Baxter, Pinky, Rocket, Panda, Noodle, two more and top tucker!)
Sydney, NSW (Germans Germans everywhere, Macbeth, rice and veggies, jewellery and vertigo again!) Palm Beach, NSW (you know we belong together)
Prahran, Melbourne, VIC (hairy showers, lovely staff)
The Grampians, VIC (cold, beautiful, dense end of the world fog and banging disco tunes) Williamstown, VIC (swings, possums and ice cream)

And by the films:

Bran Nue Day – Launceston
The Wolfman – Hobart
Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief – Esperance
Shutter Island – Perth
Alice in Wonderland – Broome
Shutter Island – Broome
How To Train Your Dragon – Darwin
Clash of the Titans – Alice
Kick Ass – Brisbane
Micmacs – Sydney
Big Wednesday/The Endless Summer II – St Kilda

And by the songs:

I Got A Feeling – Black Eyed Peas
Under the Milky Way Tonight – The Church

And by the letter N and by the number 2.

Off to the airport now.

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Friday April 30th, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Day Eighty Eight

Finally I’ve met a man who sounds like Rolf Harris. All breathy and teeth smacking.

It is well King Bill today. Am on my way to a hike in the Grampians and when we stopped for breakfast I had to nip to the op shop and by a hat. I am now cutting a swathe with my navy blue San Francisco 49s beanie.

Wednesday April 28th, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Day Eighty Four

Today my desk is the brown sandy shore of Palm Beach AKA Summer Bay, home to the legend that is Alf “Flaming Galah” Stewart and his Home and Away co stars. After my Ramsey Street pilgrimage in 2006, I thought it only fair to go Bay. Unfortunately, there was no filming this arvo but there was a buff man who only wore very tight, skimpy black speedos and who jogged towards me for rather a long time as I walked along the beach, so I wasn’t too disappointed.

Saturday April 24th, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Day Eighty Three

Ran from my hostel in Kings Cross through the botanical gardens to the Opera House and back again this morning. The only person going slower than me was the man wearing a full face bandage and a soft neck brace. And then there was the 112 step climb back to Victoria Street right at the end. Am building my strength back up with dates and special needs toast with peanut butter and cheese for breakfast. The hostel have provided free eggs for borders so there is a bit of a funky hum everywhere which I can only think will get worse once they are digested.

Thursday April 22nd, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Day Seventy Eight

The Germans are getting rowdy again and it’s only breakfast.

Sunday April 18th, 2010. Uncategorized. 1 comment.

Day Seventy Six

I am surrounded by loud, laughing Germans.

Friday April 16th, 2010. Uncategorized. 1 comment.

Day Seventy Three

My desk today is on yet another Greyhound bus heading towards Sydney. Last night, Newcastle YHA was all about smells. The corridors smelt of the kitchen, the kitchen smelt of bad mince (again! Why always bad mince?), the carpets were fusty and foot high, the toilets smelt revolting and my room smelt of stale perfume/cheap deodorant. Which is a shame as the building was pretty gorgeous. Went for a run this morning and turned right at the end of the road. Apparently if I’d turned left it would have been horizontal rather than the vertical I was faced with. This is possibly my last greyhound experience on this trip.

Tuesday April 13th, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Day Seventy One

For some reason my dorm room smells like a stable even though there is a distinct lack of tack, hay and sweaty horses and I’m pretty sure that none of us in here have immaculately conceived either.

Spent a mad day hurtling all over the north NSW countryside that looks so English (apart from the random palm trees). Paddled in a tea tree lake that was a browny coca cola colour except for the electric green algae. Went to a Tender Centre and wanted to bid on an iron, an old ESSO oil can, an organ and a big wooden lounger, none of which would fit in my back pack. We’re waiting to hear about the four storey bird cage though. Bought lots of plums and admired the lonely railroad tracks and grimaced at a grim lounge singer’s rendition of Candle in the Wind that cut through the peace of Eltham like only bad Elton can. Off to what I hope will turn out to be a very large plate of dirty noodles now.

News just in: we won the birdcage, the saddles, the bottles and the watering can but not the phone. We are now slightly hysterical.

Monday April 12th, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Day Seventy Two

I have progressed to Georgette Heyer who uses words like “flummery”, “ells”, “mashams” and “thatchgallows”. Thank god for my dictionary.

Monday April 12th, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Day Seventy

The problem with having vertigo when you’re lying in your hostel bed is that there is the possibility of scaring the other occupants (of the room, not the bed) when all of a sudden you violently stick out your leg, still sheet tangled, and try and plant your foot on the floor to try to fool your brain into recognising a physical horizon to stop the slopping that’s going on. Luckily I’ve been on the bottom bunk but I did nearly kick the girl in the next one. So two out of three Brisbane days have been a wipe out with severe dizziness, breathlessness and being weak as a new born kitten. Luckily on the first day I ran along the South Bank, did a three hour city walking tour, bought two new bras, a battery charger for my digital camera (it gave up just before Uluru) and went to see Kick Ass. On the bus to Byron now.

Have just seen a bi-plane loop the loop and body roll through the clouds above the skyscrapers of Surfers Paradise.

Saturday April 10th, 2010. Uncategorized. 2 comments.

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