Day Fifty Seven

Yesterday my desk was a wooden picnic bench on the sun deck of my Darwin hostel with a Frenchman, a German, a Dutch girl and an Australian taxidermist. I now know how to count to twelve on the fingers of one hand, that there is a better Indian alternative to Viagra, that you can get office internships in the Dutch porn industry and how to stuff a dingo. I have no memory whatsoever of my contribution, except salt for the carbonara.


Sunday March 28th, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Day Fifty Five

I’m on the bus from the airport. The man in front has really old smelly hair and the woman behind is coughing up on my shoulder. I’m hoping this is not an omen. Welcome to Darwin.

Friday March 26th, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Day Fifty Four

Things you get used to up North:

– hot plastic toilet seats
– the smell of old musty secondhand books when you blot the sweat from your upper lip onto the page that you’re reading

– geckos running across the cinema screen

Today my desk was in an old fashioned, heavy as fuck, diving helmet after I’d realised that pearls and vegetarianism aren’t really compatible. Bugger.

Friday March 26th, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Day Fifty Three – later

I’m really missing running but it’s too goddamn sweaty in these goddamn tropics. So here are my new top five songs to run to that I can’t run to just now:

LA Woman – The Doors
Ace of Spades – Motorhead
Blame it on the Girls – Mika
Truth or Dare – N.E.R.D
Mandinka – Sinead O’Connor

Honorable mentions:

Love is in the Air – John Paul Young
The Time is Now – Moloko
We Are The People – Empire of the Sun

Apparently you sweat in a cold shower in Darwin. I can’t believe I’ll have any toxins left by the time I get to Alice.

Wednesday March 24th, 2010. Uncategorized. 2 comments.

Day Fifty Three

The sweat is rolling off my face like I’m crying. It’s 42*C with early 70s % humidity and it’s only 10.30am. Broome is not the place to be in you’re trying to look alluring – woman don’t glow here, they sweat like navvies. I have a permanent upset stomach due to the vast quantities of electrolites swimming in sugar I’m having to knock back to keep me upright. I got masticated by mossies on the cow farm a couple of nights ago so I’m constantly trying not to scratch. The aircon in the hostel is busted.

Grumpy? You do not know the half of it…..

Wednesday March 24th, 2010. Uncategorized. 1 comment.

Day Forty Nine

Scant, low scrub for as far as the eye can see in every direction, a seemingly deserted artic by the side of the road, seven desperate women and the next long drop not for another 156kms.

Sunday March 21st, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Day Forty Six

8.13am – I’m stuck on a bus with Shakira? Beyonce? Xstina? blaring out. Can I get off yet?

8.37am – someone’s cracked open The Lion King soundtrack, I am not feeling the love this morning

9.04am – termite stacks like gnome yurts as far as the eye can see

12.11pm – have seen a running hare, a Chinese dragon, a squid, Skeletor’s castle and a pig doing that yoga pose that I hate that has something to do with downward dog. Clouds you know

13.41pm – have just seen the shadow of Roland Rat shouting “yeahhhhh” over a mountain. The undersides of the low clouds are red and there are tall columns of red dust twisting up to the sky all over the place. Probably a good thing that Irish Dorothy went back to Coral Bay yesterday

14.43pm – music much better this afternoon: Kate Bush, The Stranglers, Madness and randomly the theme tune to Minder

15.10pm – bush toilet with the Red Army marching South, a bladder the size of Switzerland and a stiff breeze. Nuff said

15.24pm – rain

17.58pm – in Karijini. The scrub on top of each hill and mountain looks like an upside down bobble fringe on a 1970s lampshade

21.25pm – gatecrashers in camp. We were all about to go to bed when a truck load of people arrived with shamrocks painted on their faces and beer. Am listening to the rain in the tent and trying, unsuccessfully, to read Brighton Rock

21.55pm – the rain has stopped but not in time to save my playing cards.

The gatecashers are still in camp jibber jabbering away and treading on beer cans to compress them. And now they have taken to doing bad Father Ted impressions and yowling. I think I may be getting too old for all this

22.19pm – I’m not entirely sure that one of our group is aware of how loudly he’s talking about his hairless body. And now he’s doing a really bad Elvis impression

Sunday March 21st, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Day Forty Five

Today my desk was a mattress by the pool in Exmouth where I did sew. My nightie was falling apart, my T shirt was too off the shoulder and my hat wouldn’t stay on. All now fixed.

Two very bearded men wearing navy coloured vests to cover their paunches have just walked passed my window. Maybe there is a ZZ Top convention nearby.

Off camping tomorrow in a nearby gorge for a couple of days before heading to Broome.

I’m half way through now which can’t be right.

Tuesday March 16th, 2010. Uncategorized. 1 comment.

Day Forty Two

There was an incident last night with a snoring force majeure, a lurching, screeching top bunk, a toilet door making the sound of an anchor chain, a well timed swear word and an awful lot of giggling. Needless to say, we all apologised this morning.

Sunday March 14th, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

Day Thirty Nine again

Three things what I have done today:

1- had to have a wee twice behind a pale blue shower curtain as there was no door on the toilet at The Overlander Roadhouse

2 – stared in fascination at an old Aussie guy with a long, white plaited beard and a hat

3 – ate hot plums that had been left out in the sun

Sunday March 14th, 2010. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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